Roast mode 🔥

Playing it safe with a vanilla portfolio that's too scared to leave the nest

Risk profile

  • Secure
    Speculative

The risk profile, derived from past market volatility, reflects the level of risk the portfolio is exposed to. This assessment helps align your investments with your financial goals and comfort with market fluctuations.

Diversification profile

  • Focused
    Diversified

The diversification assessment evaluates the spread of investments across asset classes, regions, and sectors. This ensures a balanced mix, reducing risk and maximizing returns by not concentrating in any single area.

What type of investor this portfolio is suitable for

Growth Investors

This portfolio is tailor-made for someone who's heard the tales of stock market glory but sleeps with a night light on. It's for the investor who wants to dip their toes in the ocean of opportunity but insists on wearing floaties. They're attracted to the siren song of growth but can't shake the fear of volatility. Their investment horizon is likely long-term; they just need to realize that a diversified portfolio doesn't mean putting all their eggs in one basket, even if that basket is the S&P 500.

Positions

  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
    VOO - US9229083632
    65.00%
  • Vanguard FTSE Developed Markets Index Fund ETF Shares
    VEA - US9219438580
    10.00%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares
    VWO - US9220428588
    10.00%
  • Vanguard Extended Market Index Fund ETF Shares
    VXF - US9229086528
    10.00%
  • SPDR Gold Mini Shares
    GLDM - US98149E3036
    5.00%

Diving into this portfolio feels like attending a concert where the headliner is a cover band of the S&P 500. With a whopping 65% allocated to just one ETF, it's like betting on a horse because you like the jockey's colors. The attempt at global diversification feels like adding a dash of pepper to an otherwise bland meal, hoping it will bring the flavor. The portfolio's structure screams, "I heard diversification is good," but it whispers, "I'm not sure how it works."

Growth Info

Looking at the historic performance, a 14.38% CAGR sounds impressive until you remember it's riding almost entirely on the coattails of a bull market. It's like bragging about winning a race when you started 100 meters ahead of everyone else. The -32.76% max drawdown is a stark reminder that what goes up can come crashing down, especially when your eggs are mostly in one basket. Those 23 days making up 90% of returns? That's not strategy; that's lottery ticket investing.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo must be rolling in his grave with these forward projections. A 362.6% median increase sounds dreamy, but relying on simulations is like planning your retirement based on weather forecasts. These projections offer a glimpse into a range of outcomes, but with the portfolio's heavy lean on the S&P 500, it's essentially gambling on the American economy continuing its historical bull run without a hiccup.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    94%
  • Other
    5%
  • Cash
    1%
  • No data
    0%

With 94% in stocks and a token gesture towards gold, this portfolio has the asset class diversity of a 90s boy band. While stocks can be the life of the party during good times, the lack of significant holdings in bonds or real estate leaves you vulnerable when the music stops. And that 5% in gold? It's like keeping a bicycle pump in the trunk of your car; it might come in handy, but it's not going to save you if you're out of gas.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    29%
  • Financials
    14%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    10%
  • Industrials
    9%
  • Telecommunications
    9%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    3%
  • Basic Materials
    3%
  • Real Estate
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%

The sector spread is like a diet consisting mainly of bread, with technology taking up almost a third of the portfolio. Financial services and consumer cyclicals are the lettuce and tomato, adding some color but not enough to make it a balanced meal. The heavy tilt towards tech is like betting on your favorite sports team every game; it feels great when they're winning, but it's a recipe for heartache.

Regions Info

  • North America
    76%
  • Asia Emerging
    6%
  • Europe Developed
    6%
  • Asia Developed
    3%
  • Japan
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%
  • Latin America
    1%
  • Australasia
    1%
  • Europe Emerging
    0%

With 76% allocated to North America, this portfolio has a serious case of home country bias. It's like traveling abroad and only eating at fast-food chains. The minimal exposure to emerging markets and developed regions outside the US is a missed opportunity for true diversification and growth, akin to keeping your bicycle with training wheels because you're afraid of falling.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    39%
  • Large-cap
    28%
  • Mid-cap
    18%
  • Small-cap
    6%
  • Micro-cap
    2%

The market cap allocation here is like attending a party and only talking to the people you already know. With a heavy lean on mega and big caps, it's clear there's a comfort in the familiar. However, the underweight in small and micro-caps neglects the potential for high-growth opportunities, akin to never trying new foods because you might not like them.

Dividends Info

  • Vanguard FTSE Developed Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 2.70%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.10%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Vanguard Extended Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.38%

The dividends are the portfolio's silver lining, like finding a $20 bill in the pocket of an old jacket. With yields ranging from 1.10% to 2.80%, they provide a modest income stream. However, relying on dividends from a heavily concentrated stock portfolio is like planning your nutrition around the occasional snack. It helps, but it's not a strategy for sustenance.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • SPDR Gold Mini Shares 0.10%
  • Vanguard FTSE Developed Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 0.08%
  • Vanguard Extended Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.06%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.04%

At least the portfolio's costs are under control, with a total expense ratio (TER) of 0.04%. It's like finding a no-fee ATM in a tourist trap; surprisingly pleasant but not enough to write home about. Keeping costs low is commendable, but when the strategy is this cautious, it's like saving money by not going on vacation at all.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

The portfolio's attempt at optimization is like trying to improve a recipe by only adjusting the salt. With a more efficient portfolio offering a 16.82% expected return at the same risk level, it's clear there's room for improvement. The current approach is akin to settling for a mediocre meal because it's familiar, rather than exploring the menu for something potentially more satisfying.

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