Roast mode 🔥

A safety-first portfolio that moonlights as a gold hoarder

Risk profile

  • Secure
    Speculative

The risk profile, derived from past market volatility, reflects the level of risk the portfolio is exposed to. This assessment helps align your investments with your financial goals and comfort with market fluctuations.

Diversification profile

  • Focused
    Diversified

The diversification assessment evaluates the spread of investments across asset classes, regions, and sectors. This ensures a balanced mix, reducing risk and maximizing returns by not concentrating in any single area.

What type of investor this portfolio is suitable for

Balanced Investors

This portfolio is perfect for the investor who likes to think they're playing it safe while secretly loving the thrill of the gamble. It's for someone who appreciates the allure of gold, not just as bling but as a bunker asset for financial doomsday scenarios. Their risk tolerance is moderate, like someone who enjoys spicy food but keeps a glass of milk handy. The goals are long-term, but there's a palpable impatience to see growth, leading to a mismatched approach that's part conservative, part treasure hunter. The ideal time horizon is "by retirement," but with a wary eye on market storms, suggesting a blend of optimism and caution that's as conflicting as their asset allocation.

Positions

  • Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    VT - US9220427424
    66.00%
  • Vanguard Total World Bond ETF
    BNDW - US92206C5655
    17.00%
  • SPDR® Gold Shares
    GLD - US78463V1070
    17.00%

With two-thirds of your portfolio in a world stock ETF and the rest almost evenly split between bonds and gold, it's like you're preparing for both a market rally and the apocalypse simultaneously. While it's commendable to have a foot in both camps, this setup screams "indecision." It's as if you went to a buffet and loaded up on salad and cake, hoping to balance out the meal. The heavy reliance on just three ETFs for diversification is like using a three-legged stool to support the weight of your financial future — stable until it's not.

Growth Info

The historic performance, with a CAGR of 11.13%, might seem like a reason to pop the champagne, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. The -23.21% max drawdown is like that friend who's a blast at parties but occasionally burns your house down. It's a reminder that past performance is like relying on yesterday's weather forecast to plan a picnic. Sure, it's useful, but it won't save you from getting soaked. Your portfolio's performance is decent, but it's like celebrating a touchdown when you're still 50 yards from the end zone.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo simulation, with its 1,000 different market scenarios, is essentially your portfolio's crystal ball. But remember, it's more carnival fortune teller than Nostradamus. While the 50th percentile projection of a 273% increase sounds like you'll be laughing all the way to the bank, the 5th percentile at 54.8% is the universe's way of saying, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." It's a mixed bag of potential futures, reminding you to wear both a belt and suspenders.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    65%
  • Other
    17%
  • Bonds
    17%
  • Cash
    1%
  • No data
    0%

Diving into asset classes, your portfolio seems to have taken a "let's not put all our eggs in one basket" approach but then decided three baskets were enough. With a hefty 65% in stocks, 17% in bonds, and an interesting 17% in gold, it's like you're dressing for all weather conditions at once. This might save you from a downpour but could also leave you sweating when the sun comes out. The 1% in cash? That's like keeping a dollar in your pocket for the ice cream truck — hopeful but not exactly strategic.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    17%
  • Financials
    11%
  • Industrials
    8%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    7%
  • Health Care
    6%
  • Telecommunications
    5%
  • Consumer Staples
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    2%
  • Energy
    2%
  • Real Estate
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%

Your sector allocation is like a pie chart drawn by someone who loves tech and financial services but then got distracted. With 17% in technology and 11% in financial services, it’s clear where your heart lies. But the scattergun approach to the other sectors, with minimal allocations, feels like you're trying to tick boxes rather than invest with conviction. It's like going to a buffet and taking a tiny bit of everything to not offend the chefs — thoughtful but ultimately unsatisfying.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    28%
  • Large-cap
    20%
  • Unknown
    17%
  • Mid-cap
    12%
  • Small-cap
    3%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

Your market cap allocation is like deciding to spread your bets in Vegas but mostly on the high rollers' tables. With 28% in mega-caps and 20% in big caps, you're clearly enamored with the market's Goliaths. The 17% unknown is like saying, "I'll have what she's having" without seeing the menu. Dabbling in medium, small, and micro caps without a clear strategy is akin to throwing darts blindfolded — fun but unlikely to hit the bullseye.

Dividends Info

  • Vanguard Total World Bond ETF 4.00%
  • Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 1.70%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.80%

Your dividends are the portfolio's attempt at generating passive income, but with a total yield of 1.80%, it's more of a gentle trickle than a flowing river. The bond ETF's 4.00% yield tries to lift the heavy lifting, but the stock ETF's 1.70% is like getting a consolation prize at a raffle. It's income, sure, but you might find more excitement checking for loose change in the couch.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Vanguard Total World Bond ETF 0.05%
  • SPDR® Gold Shares 0.40%
  • Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.07%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.12%

Now, for the silver lining — your costs. With a total TER of 0.12%, at least you're not bleeding money on fees. It's like finding a low-cost airline that gets you where you need to go without the frills. Sure, you might not have much legroom, and the snacks are basic, but your wallet isn't much lighter upon landing. Kudos for that, but remember, cost savings alone won't pilot your portfolio to prosperity.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

When it comes to risk vs. return optimization, your portfolio is like someone who insists on using a map in the age of GPS. Sure, it's worked in the past, but there are more efficient ways to get to your destination. The heavy tilt towards stocks and gold, with a sprinkle of bonds, is like a diet based on protein and fat with a side of veggies — it might work for some, but it's hardly balanced. Striving for the Efficient Frontier is noble, but your portfolio seems to have taken a detour.

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